I got chris browned last night
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
