one might say we're banned from that church
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize