I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
