He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
