Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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