You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
