my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
50% drunk capacity currently
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize