bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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