If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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