just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
