My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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