i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
