porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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