Where did you get a picture of my penis
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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