sarcasm needs its own font
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
