Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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