ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
