Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
