yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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