we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
