we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
