I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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