I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
PANTIES FOUND
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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