My first STD was from a foam party
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize