I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
