If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
