I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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