It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
