I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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