Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
