she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
