there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
