I could have mohawked her pubes.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
