omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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