umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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