I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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