Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
