then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
