So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
