Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
