Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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