NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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