Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize