I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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