My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
