one might say we're banned from that church
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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