I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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