careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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