just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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