I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
