Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize