i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
