dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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