Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
