Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
