so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dicks are not precious.
We need to get me chipped asap
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
