the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
