whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
