dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
