I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
