glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
