can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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