He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
