imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
