he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Who did Billy Mays play for?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
