I wish life had little blips of pornography
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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