sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
