dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
