Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
