I just saw a hot homeless man
This girl is more easily done than said...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
