Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
