Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
