One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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