I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
