the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
