Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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